Living by Divine Guidance
Liv Divine

Ok, here goes nothin'...

 Yesterday was the six year anniversary of my sister's death.  That one event was a catalyst for me in so many ways.  One way was to start writing and I did that by writing about the seven days after she died.  A month or so ago I had this idea that I should post here an excerpt of the book on the anniversary of her death as it falls on a Tuesday this year too.  Well I got busy and things got in the way (mostly fear) so the day came and went and I played it safe and did nothing.  I have felt such a sense of unease the days leading up to Tuesday the 13th and now the day after that I know I have to post something if I am ever going to find peace.

Please understand this is a work in progress, six years now, and I am confident that the time for me to finish it is near.  Thank you for taking the time to listen to my story.


In Love and Light,

Christine

           

                                                Seven Days (working title)



Tuesday, 12-13-05

The crying was truly heart wrenching.  The kind of crying that comes from the deepest inner part of you that is only reached during times like this.  Uncontrollable sobs and tears pouring form ones heart and soul.  It spoke of love, sorrow and peace all at the same time.

Ah Michelle.  We touched her, kissed her even clung to her as her body grew cold and started to change color, from blue to grey and then white.  She was truly gone.  It was evident that the once bright, happy, full of life little girl was no longer in her body.  She had gone back to where she came from.  Gone back to that place of peace, wholeness and purity that she had briefly abandoned while was visiting us here during our lifetime.

That moment that she passed seemed to be the easiest part of Michelle’s life.  It was even simpler than her birth.  If you knew Michelle you know that easy and simple are now words that would be used to describe her life.

  If you have ever witnessed a birth you truly understand the word miracle.  One moment there is just those in the room and within the next minute there is breathing, living, human being, a person, a soul to be attached to you until death.  Death is the same miracle.  In one breath the person is with you living breathing, no matter what their condition is and then they are gone in the time it takes to take the next breath.  Gone and never to return, never to interact with or talk to again.  Birth and Death are truly both miracles.  Michelle’s life (the in between part of her birth and death) proved to be a miracle in itself.

Many people had spent that last day with Michelle.  There were the people that loved her and those who loved and wanted to support my parents.  It must have seemed strange to the others in the CCU (Critical Care Unit).  The bouts of tears mixed with the bouts of laughter would have seemed strange to me too, in an area that was set aside for death.  We reminisced about how funny and eccentric she had been and of all the funny little and big things she would do.  For instance, when she learned to make the letter L with her hand and put it on her forehead and always knew the appropriate time to us it.  Or like when she would get on a food kick and only eat refried beans or bologna (not my favorite phase, bologna breath is not pretty) for months at a time. 

So many things made Michelle happy such as a “surprise”, what she knew to be presents that were just for her and she received daily from family or friends.  Everyone knew that when you visited my parent’s home you were to bring a “surprise” for her.  You could say it was an unspoken law, which believe it or not she could and would enforce. She loved to watch her favorite T.V. shows like “Barney” or “Family Matters”, and just laugh and sing (in her own way) for hours at a time.

Just as many things pissed her off, if not more.  Not bringing her a surprise would bring on a very sad pouty face and then endless nagging for the entire visit to remind you to bring her something next time.  And of course if you dared tell her no she would run you down with her wheelchair, no questions asked. 

The nurse, who had come in every five minutes to turn down her respirator in small increments, also joined into the casual conversation and asks my dad if all the girls in the room were his.  You see most of my female cousins were there so there were about six of us.  The joking went on about how hard girls were to raise and the nurse talked about how he had four boys.  All this chit-chat went on as we were waiting for my sister to take her last breath.  That was just what kind of day it was.

Reluctantly my parents and family slowly left Michelle’s room not wanting it to be the end.  Knowing that once we left it would be final and we would never see her again. Hesitating, slowly we left the CCU and went to a small waiting area near the main corridor.  I was so difficult to walk away and leave her there.  We didn’t know what to do or where to go. I noticed that my cousin Renee had quietly and discreetly closed the door to Michelle’s room when the last person left as if to just let her rest in peace and have privacy.   I thought what a thoughtful and sensitive thing to do.  I would have never thought of that being so important and it was. 

Immediately I went into automatic drive and began making a mental to do list of all of the things I needed to do for the funeral.  That was my survival mode which I seemed to maintain until after we laid her to rest.  While everyone was talking in hushed tones in the waiting room I was in my own world of “get er done”.

 After we had adjourned to the hall, the nurse came out and said she needed a signature from one of my parents, so my dad dazed went back in to the CCU and again I watched Renee’s silent support as she followed him, just in case she was needed.  Through the door way I could see my father sitting at the desk in the nurse’s station trying to focus on what the nurse was asking him to do.  After he finished the paperwork, I heard my father ask the nurse what was going to happen to my sister’s body and the nurse said that she needed to remove the IV’s and monitors before the body was moved “downstairs” (the morgue).  He looked at her with fresh tears in his eyes and as much control as he could muster and said ‘please be gentle with her as you remove them’.  The nurse started to cry and hugged him and told him that she would be gentle.  It was as if she had been holding back her emotions during the last couple of days and then finally couldn’t anymore.

To Be Continued…

Create for the Sake of Creating

We have all started projects and some of us have actually finished one or two of them.  Others have dreams of other artistic endeavors like writing, painting & sewing.  The thing is we all at one time or another have had the desire to create.  So what stops us from either getting started or complete something once we do start it?  One thing that gets in my way is fear that what I create won’t be good enough.  No matter how my heart urges me to sit down and write or sew I seem to put it off.  It’s too scary.  Recently that changed for me. 

 

The first ah ha came a few months ago when I was talking to an artist friend of mine, Katariina.  Katariina does it all writes, photography, jewelry etc.  During the conversation we were having about all the things she had been creating I asked her if she was going to be selling her work or show it in galleries.  She replied “no” and from her explanation as to why, I got the impression that she was just exploring her creativity with no expectations.  That idea must have resonated with me because it got tucked away in my subconscious.

 

A more powerful realization came to me when I was discussing a particular piece of Katariina’s work with a mutual friend.  The time, patience and love that went into the piece was evident and I made the comment that she must devote serious time every day or week to just creating.  No expectations, just creating and being in the flow.  That thought was very powerful for me.

 

Shortly after, these little moments of insight made their way into my full awareness when I was talking (or complaining) to my friend about all the issues I had about my writing.  You see at the time my heart was urging me to write but I had so much self doubt.  What do I write about?  Will it be any good?  Will anyone like it?  Well you get the idea.  I have struggled with this ‘want to but scared to” theme for years. Then it hit me!  If I was guided to write all I had to do was write. 

 

Just write for the sake of writing.  It was so simple.  It didn’t have to be anything to anyone. It didn’t even have to be anything to me.  My heart said write so that’s all I had to do.  Some days I just journal or write for my blog.  Other days I work on a very specific book that I have been in the process of creating for years now.  Whether one day I will be published or that I will change the world with my writing I don’t know.  The important thing is that now I create for the sake of creating.  And that opens the door to so much.

 

I invite you to take another look at that project you have sitting on the shelf and see it with new eyes.  See it without limitations or expectations.  Know that you now create to be in the moment, to be connected to source and are honoring your God given nature to create.


In Love and Light,

Christine 


Special thanks to Katariina Fagering for her role as muse to so many.  To view Katariina's work please visit Gypsylovecafe.com
 

Do You View Your Body as a Bully?

I view my body as a bully?  This is the new information that came to me during an acupuncture session.  A little confusing at first but now it makes perfect sense. 

 

Over the last few years I have struggled with what I would consider my ideal weight and some minor and major health issues.  So I guess we can just put it all under one umbrella of “health issues”.   And when I eat something that is not good for me or maybe I don’t make it to the gym consistently my body will let me know.  It is not shy about expressing it’s unhappiness with me and letting me know that is doesn’t like what I am doing to it (or not doing). 

 

This of course has led me to be more careful of what goes into my body and do my best to exercise and stretch out all those stiff and tight areas that seem to never want to go away.  Never push myself to much and take on too much.  All this has been done in hopes of not upsetting my body and having it “act out” and creating some kind of health issue.  “Keep the body happy; don’t do anything to piss it off”.  That seems to have been my internal unconscious mantra.

 

I have been tippy toeing around my body for years just like you would a bully.  I didn’t want to make it mad or push it to hard because then it would get angry and punish me somehow.  The thing is my body isn’t a bully that is just the way I have been viewing it.  My body just wants good care and lets me know when it is not getting it.  And instead of loving myself and body so much that I want it to be happy and healthy I would view it in fear and treat it out of that fear instead of love. 

 

So lesson being; if I treat my body from a place of fear and see it as a bully I will always be playing small as not to upset it.  I would never push myself toward my goals for fear of over working myself and getting to stressed out.  I will struggle with guilt over what I put into my body.  And I will never change any unhealthy patterns.  One the other hand, if I treat my body from a place of love it will support me in all I do.  I won’t push myself to hard because I love myself.  I won’t over eat because I truly care what happens to me.  I will achieve all my goals and dreams with the support of my body and not in spite of it.

 

I just learned about a whole other level of self love that I didn’t even know was there.  Now to completely embrace myself in love…that may take a little longer but I am so on my way!

 

In love and light,

 

Christine

My Children's Prayer for Protection

Over the years, off and on my children have “seen” things especially at night while in their rooms during sleep time.  Their experiences have ranged from having a sense that something or one is watching them to waking up and seeing a visitor.  As my son has gotten older his experiences have lessened or he just doesn’t speak of them anymore.  As for the girls they don’t complain about what they experience as a matter of fact they often don’t even remember until a later date and then I get to hear all kinds of stories all at once.  They say that the things they see don’t feel scary but it’s more the fact that they are seeing something that freaks them out.

On occasion, one or both of the girls go through periods where they have trouble sleeping.  Our home is always protected and during these times I ask for additional clearing and protection.  Recently my daughter Gabrielle found her way to our bed and woke me up to tell me she saw something at the foot of my bed.  I comforted her and soothed her back to sleep.  The next morning Gabrielle shared her experience with her sister Madeline.  As the conversation turned into a sharing session of all the things that they have seen over the years, I wondered why my girls are having these experiences and why all the protection I have set in place doesn’t quite work for them.

 

Just then as the sharing began to bring up fear in the girls, it hit me that they needed to take control of the situation.  It was time that they asked for help on their own behalf.   You see anytime the girls have a problem or a fear I always tell them that the angels will help them and that all they need to do is ask.  They are shy at times and probably feel a little silly asking the angels for help so they would always ask me to say the prayer for them. And I would.

 

Not this time.  I knew that all they needed was a little direction so that they could create a restful and uneventful night’s sleep.  I then began to advise them on what to do.  First I explained to them that they needed to ask for help themselves and that they needed to take control of the situation and set boundaries for what they would or would not allow.  Next, as it came to me I told them that they should set an intention or prayer every night that felt comfortable and natural for them.  I told them that it would be even more powerful if they would say it together, you know power in numbers.  I then suggested that they could write the intention or prayer to the angels, Jesus or whatever made them comfortable stating that they wanted a good night’s sleep, don’t let anything in that is not for their highest good, good happy dreams and anything else that they wanted.  I also explained to them that if they could then read it together every night before bed and to say “And so it is” it would be most powerful.

 

I left it at that allowing them to make the choice for themselves.  A few nights later I was in my room and I heard the girls talking in their room when they were supposed to be settling down for bed.  I called out to them to stop talking and go to sleep and my husband said that they were saying their prayer.  I was so surprised to hear that as I had forgotten about our conversation.  I was so proud of my girls for taking control over their fears and a part of their lives. 

 

Here is the prayer they came up with.

 

Dear Jesus,

            This is a list of things I would like to be removed from my house, starting with anything evil or not good for me and my sister.  Also any bad thoughts of scary things. Also I would like the angels to watch over us anywhere and for nothing bad to come to us.   Please and thank you.  And so it is! (Clap) (The clap is to clear energy).

 

They used this prayer only about three nights in a row and not only did they stop getting visits they have been sleeping like babies.

 

Whether they know it or not Madeline and Gabrielle have taken a huge step in not only empowering themselves but learning how to create the world they want to live in.  I am so proud of both of them.

           

The 40-Day Properity Plan Day 40

Hello Everyone,

Today is the last day of the 40 Day Plan.  I want to first thank all of you for sharing this journey with me in your own way, whether it was sporadically or every day.  Some days it was the thought of disappointing you that got me to take time during my busy day and do the meditation and journaling. That accountability kept me from missing a day.

During the last 40 days I have, grown, learned and healed in so many ways and this will not end now.  Much of it is in my journaling’s, but so much is revealing itself to me daily and in small ways that I wouldn’t be able to write or explain them all. My consciousness has changed and can never go back (thank goodness).

I encourage each of you to embark on this wondrous journey at least once in your lifetime.  You won’t regret it. 

 

Day 40

Statement 10

I keep my mind and thoughts off “this world” and I place my entire focus on God within as the only Cause of my prosperity.  I acknowledge the Inner Presence as the only activity in my financial affairs, as the substance of all things visible.  I place my faith in the Principle of Abundance in action within me.

 

Journaling:

As I sit during this last meditation of the 40 Day plan, something occurred to me.  I have been trying to be more aware of what I receive and accept it with an open heart. Instead of saying “I’m sorry “(if you know me, I always say “I’m sorry” even for things I have nothing to do with) I could just thank the person for their patience with me or any other way I could turn it around.  What a way to change my thoughts to the positive instead of the unworthy.

 

In love and light,

 

Christine

The 40-Day Prosperity Plan Days 37, 38 & 39

Day 37

Statement 7:

The Divine consciousness that I am is forever expressing its true nature of Abundance.  This is its responsibility, not mine.  My only responsibility is to be aware of this Truth.  Therefore, I am totally confidant in letting go and letting God appear as the abundant all-sufficiency in my life and affairs.

 

Journaling:

As I was on my way to help out at an event at the service club I belong to, I decided that I would pay special attention to the way I receive things.  I was going to make an effort to lovingly receive anything given to me.  This included a compliment, (which I received several of for the bright pink jacket I was wearing) and saying “you’re welcome” when someone thanked me for something.

Putting into practice receiving dept me very aware and I think I will keep it up for the next couple of days.

 

Day 38

Statement 8:

My consciousness of the Spirit within me as my unlimited Source is the Divine Power to restore the years the locusts have eaten, to make all things new, to lift me up to the High Road of abundant prosperity.  This awareness, understanding and knowledge of Spirit appears as every visible form and experience that I could possibly desire.

 

Journaling:

Just loved being in that space, I didn’t want to leave the flow.

 

Day 39

Statement 9:

When I am aware of the God-self within me as my total fulfillment, I am totally fulfilled.  I am now aware of this Truth.  I have found the secret of life and I relax in the knowledge that the Activity of Divine Abundance is eternally operating in my life.  I simply have to be aware of the flow, the radiation, of that Creative Energy, which is continuously, easily and effortlessly pouring forth from my Divine Consciousness.  I am now aware.  I am now in the flow.

 

Journaling:

I had some trouble focusing during my meditation.  I realized that the thoughts that were coming up were about not being loved so I focused on being fulfilled by my light and then that the thoughts were coming up so they could be released.  My light dissipated the old beliefs and returned them to pure light.

 

In love and light,

Christine

 

The 40-Day Prosperity Plan Days 35 & 36

Day 35

Statement 5:

Money is not my supply.  No person, place or condition is my supply.  My awareness, understanding and knowledge of the all-providing activity of the Divine Mind within me is my supply.  My consciousness of this Truth is unlimited, therefore, my supply is unlimited.

 

Journaling:

I may not get strong images or big realization, during my meditation as much as I did in the beginning of this plan, but they are certainly happening in my life. 

I guess you could say that I often think of things I would like to do, teach or experience.  Most of the time the plan isn’t all there just bits and pieces not enough to act on.  Since I have been doing this plan, these ideas have been forming in the most perfect way.

Things are coming into my reality and I am the one bringing them in.

 

Day 36

Statement 6:

My inner supply instantly and constantly takes on form and experience according to my needs and desires, and as the Principle of Supply in action, it is impossible for me to have any needs or any unfulfilled desires.

 

Journaling:

What to say about this meditation?  My mind kept going to all kinds of ideas about my business.  I have been asking for ideas about things I could do to enhance my business.  And during this meditation I really had ideas streaming in.

Meditation is for receiving so it makes total sense that I would be getting new ideas during this time.



In love and light,

Christine

The 40 Day Prosperity Plan Days 33 & 34

Day 33

Statement 3:

I am conscious of the Inner Presence as my lavish Abundance.  I am conscious of the constant activity of this Mind of infinite Prosperity.  Therefore, my consciousness is filled with the Light of Truth.

 

Journaling:

Today I did a test run for my new radio talk show.  The topic of course was abundance.  My guest on the show was a friend of mine who was sharing with us who we could call on for help to bring more abundance into our lives. Long story short, Ganesh and Kali came through strongly and we did a short meditation with them to remove obstacles that were preventing us from being completely in the flow of abundance.

I later felt the effects from that session and tonight during my meditation the flow of energy felt so much more intense and I was shown several things that I have asked for come to me as close as my lap and into my hands.

It never hurts to ask for some help in getting to where we want to go.  We are never alone.

 

Day 34

Statement 4:

Through my consciousness of my God-Self, the Christ within, as my Source, I draw into my mind and feeling nature the very substance of Spirit.  This substance is my supply, thus my consciousness of the Presence of God within me is my supply.

 

Journaling:

These 40 days are coming to a close.  It has really gone my fast, but I have to say that there has been pressure to not forget a day.  I would hate to start all over again (it you miss a day you are to start over).

Things have begun to flow into my life that is what I wanted but never imagined them in the packages they arrived in.  Even doing the prosperity plan and blogging about it has been an answer to several things I have asked for.

During my meditation more things kept coming into my reality.  I know they are here I just need to see them.

 

In love and light,

 

Christine

The 40-Day Prosperity Plan Days 30, 31 &32

Day 30

 

Statement 10

I keep my mind and thoughts off “this world” and I place my entire focus on God within as the only Cause of my prosperity.  I acknowledge the Inner Presence as the only activity in my financial affairs, as the substance of all things visible.  I place my faith in the Principle of Abundance in action within me.


Journaling:

O. K. let’s see if I can explain this.  Normally I see and feel a flow of energy coming from the Divine through my crown and out my heart (but keeping me filled up too) and then coming back to me.  When I have a thought it breaks off and releases into the universe to become a reality for me.  I also see the energy coming back to me as the things I have asked for.  Usually I tend to meet these things on the outer rim of myself like the outer rim of my energy field.  This time one of the things I have been asking for came all the way to me instead of going to it and it came right into my lap and into my hands.

Now when this happened I knew that I would receive this soon in my life and this knowing was so great that I knew it to be truth.

 

I saw this in action and have the utmost faith that it is coming if not already here.  I have now had a glimpse of true knowing and I now understand what that means.

It is a great beginning.

 

Day 31

Statement 1:

God is lavish, unfailing Abundance, the rich omnipresent substance of the Universe.  This all-providing Source of infinite prosperity is individualized as me-the Reality of me.

 

Journaling:

My meditation was about the same as yesterday.  One of the things I asked for came quickly into my reality and actually one more things have started to make its way toward me also.  I wonder if what I see is strictly for the purpose of teaching me or if I can really use it as a gage to see how the things I have asked for are moving along to become a reality?

 

Day 32

Statement 2:

I lift up my mind and heart to be aware, to understand, and to know that the Divine Presence I AM is the Source and Substance of all my good.

Journaling:

Today during my meditation I focused on “the Divine Presence I AM is the Source and substance of all my good”.  In the past trying to sense this and focus on it has made my body very uncomfortable.  Today it was so much more comfortable as if my body is now becoming aligned with the Truth of me

In love and light,

Christine

The 40-Da Prosperity Plan Days 28 & 29

Day 28

Statement 8:

My consciousness of the Spirit within me as my unlimited Source is the Divine Power to restore the years the locusts have eaten, to make all things new, to lift me up to the High Road of abundant prosperity.  This awareness, understanding and knowledge of Spirit appears as every visible form and experience that I could possibly desire.

 

Journaling:

I love the part “restore the years the locusts have eaten”.  As I said this line to myself in meditation I saw my light from within go out from me to all directions of time and space and wash away everything and restore it to new. 

The last few months I seemed to have trouble with creativity and lacking in ideas and the direction of my business.  During my meditation I realized how that is all changed.  I have been receiving so many new ideas and avenues to take that sometimes I don’t know what to start first.  I have to say along with the ideas has also come the fearlessness to take guided action.

 

Day 29

 

Statement 9:

When I am aware of the God-self within me as my total fulfillment, I am totally fulfilled.  I am now aware of this Truth.  I have found the secret of life and I relax in the knowledge that the Activity of Divine Abundance is eternally operating in my life.  I simply have to be aware of the flow, the radiation, of that Creative Energy, which is continuously, easily and effortlessly pouring forth from my Divine Consciousness.  I am now aware.  I am now in the flow.

 

Journaling:

I really just relaxed in the flow of the wonderful combination of my light within and the energy flow of abundance.  What once was shown to me as being separate, tonight they merged together and felt very strong.

Archangel Michael appeared and assisted me in relaxing and when he did the flow was incredible.  The flow rushed out of me and out to the world then rushed back to me with ten times the force and blessings.  It was a continuous cycle and I felt as if I really broke free and was able to completely be a part of the flow.

 

In love and light,

Christine

Calendar

April 2014
SuMoTuWeThFrSa
12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930

Monthly Archives

Category Archives

Recent Posts

  1. Ok, here goes nothin'...
    Wednesday, December 14, 2011
  2. Create for the Sake of Creating
    Tuesday, November 08, 2011
  3. Do You View Your Body as a Bully?
    Wednesday, November 02, 2011
  4. My Children's Prayer for Protection
    Thursday, October 21, 2010
  5. The 40-Day Properity Plan Day 40
    Monday, May 10, 2010
  6. The 40-Day Prosperity Plan Days 37, 38 & 39
    Sunday, May 09, 2010
  7. The 40-Day Prosperity Plan Days 35 & 36
    Thursday, May 06, 2010
  8. The 40 Day Prosperity Plan Days 33 & 34
    Wednesday, May 05, 2010
  9. The 40-Day Prosperity Plan Days 30, 31 &32
    Sunday, May 02, 2010
  10. The 40-Da Prosperity Plan Days 28 & 29
    Thursday, April 29, 2010

Recent Comments

  1. Rachel on Create for the Sake of Creating
    12/15/2011
  2. Rachel on Ok, here goes nothin'...
    12/15/2011
  3. Christine Cook on Create for the Sake of Creating
    11/9/2011
  4. katariina on Create for the Sake of Creating
    11/9/2011
  5. Christine Cook on My Children's Prayer for Protection
    11/9/2011
  6. vincenza on My Children's Prayer for Protection
    11/9/2011
  7. Roxy on Do You View Your Body as a Bully?
    11/2/2011
  8. Christine Cook on The 40-day Prosperity Plan Day 1
    10/29/2011
  9. Christine Cook on The 40-day Prosperity Plan Day 1
    10/29/2011
  10. Pearlene Kemp on A wonderful day with friends
    10/11/2011

Subscribe Via Email


Blog Software
Blog Software